February 2012
21 posts
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The Mountain Goats - The Best Ever Death Metal...
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I'm going to start my own Artesian Bread Bakery
and when people pay me and ask where the bread is I’ll just say “Well..”
Private sector health
You are so much more fun than public sector health looks.
Warner you knob.
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January 2012
20 posts
“In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”
– John Mulaney (via poopsadaisy)
Whoa the music just got super dramatic just as I wiped
This public toilet in Nihl, a nice country town
Has a speaker system playing classical music. This is the classiest poop I’ve ever done.
i got a haircut yesterday
and it reminded me of the last time I got a haircut and someone said “you’ve had a hairy” and i am so angry at that name for a haircut i really wish i could remember who said it so i can punch them in the dick next time i see them.
i thought i had my shit pretty much together
with a job and a place and a car but then i didnt poop for a day and a half and my abdomen hurt and then i thought i had my shit too much together.
We just went to see Ira Glass
and it was excellent and informative and funny and everything I wanted it to be. Before the show we also got some really nicely made programs. They were just a single A5 piece of paper folded in half so there were four separate surfaces. On the front it had “Ira Glass: Reinventing Radio” which of course was the theme of show and it had a list of what was on each page of the program,...
living in adelaide again is like wearing a pair of...
its rad as balls
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Scheme to increase the sales of toothpaste:
Engineer packaging that makes the first squeeze of paste look like the head of a penis and then continued squeezing will make a longer or shorter shaft depending on squeezed amount.
For even greater increases in sales start an urban legend that if you keep squeezing long enough the tube will make balls.
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December 2011
18 posts
One of my biggest achievements this year was...
So many times I went to close my laptop and had to remember “oh wait don’t do that you need to keep downloading it.” It feels as significant as finishing my masters.
I can't wait to be hungry again
Those burritos I made are fucking delicious.
Makw yhat three
No productive work for me today. Whomp.
Two pint lunch
Private sector yo!